Chrissy’s story of self- discovery and determination highlights how transformative conceptualising our experiences differently to the medical model can be:
“It was April 30, 2013. I woke up with the most amazing energy within me. I felt better than I ever felt in my life. I turned to my husband and said, “You know, honey, I think I’m coming to a new level of awareness.” Two years before I had ever even heard of what a spiritual emergence was, “a new level of awareness” was how I described it, as if I intuitively knew that it was an evolution of consciousness.
I felt energy radiating within me, and from me. I felt hot like, as if I was on fire. I felt all knowing, like my intuition was turned up high. I felt like I understood the law of attraction. I felt like I could control time and space. I felt the Divine Intelligence within me, giving me the gift of knowing and understanding. I felt a part of the Universe. It was amazing, magical, and Sacred.
When I got put in the hospital, I felt spiritually raped of being in touch with my soul. I don’t blame my husband, he was just doing what he thought was in my best interest at the time. I felt so lost, and, because the doctor diagnosed me without hearing my point of view, I lost my voice.
I came back into awareness in the hospital room. My chart on the board said, “Keep her safe.”I said, “I dreamt this months ago.” I had been having déjà Vu dreams since 2008, but I could never pin point these premonitions until they happened.
I spent two years trying to make sense of what had happened to me. My brain was not broken; I had experienced something profound.
When the second anniversary came, my husband FINALLY asked me, “What happened?” I was excited to share my point of view. After I explained my experience, he questioned, “Hmm? I wonder if, in the future, they find out that bipolar disorder is the mind’s way of coming to a new stage of Enlightenment?” That resonated with me on a deep level. You see, the experience left me fundamentally transformed in a positive way. It was a puberty of the soul, a metamorphosis into a butterfly. Only, the shame of the stigma behind a mental health diagnosis kept my wings wet for quite some time.
The very next morning, I googled “bipolar enlightenment,” and came across the work of Sean Blackwell and Stanislav Grof. My intuition that I had a Spiritual Experience was validated.
I’ve been on the road to recuperation since. It took bravery, a willingness to face the dark in order to walk to the light. It took me trusting myself, both consciously and spiritually. It also took being my own advocate. I had to own my own truth.
I’m currently 3-months medication free, feeling integrated, and healed. I’m grateful for the groundwork that was laid before me, that helped map my recovery.”